What to do when I lost my spark and feel demotivated?
You definitely have goals you want to achieve and the state you dream to become. But when you are pursuing them, what do you feel? Are you excited? Or are you full of pressure?
Where does your pressure come from?
Have you ever thought about where your pressure comes from? Does it come from your parents? Or does it come from your peers? It seems like a natural and normal emotion nowadays. But in fact, many people are suffering from it.
Do you tend to compare yourself to others? Or do you pay too much attention to what others think of you? You don’t need to compare with others because you won’t always be “the best one,” so you will never be satisfied with yourself. Moreover, if you feel good because of letting others being inferior to you, that’s not a healthy thought since you may not get the relationship you want with your peers, and you are creating a conflict in your daily life.
However, although some people are overwhelmed by the pressure, some of them believe that they need proper pressure to benefit their self-growth.
Pressure vs. Desire
In some situations, you may put pressure on yourself as a self-demand. For example, you know that you “need to” stick to your diet and exercise plan so that you can get a healthy body. And the most effective period of executing it is when you gain weight or find out your illness data. At that moment, you feel the pressure of being unhealthy, so you work hard and want to get your result faster.
However, if you think deeper, why do you need the pressure to keep moving forward when you know exactly “why” and “how much” you want it? “Of course I know that,” you may think. But the fact is we often forget about it and think, “I cannot watch Netflix now because I ‘need to’ finish my paper today,” or “I cannot eat ice cream because I ‘have to’ follow my diet plan.” And these kinds of thinking become your stress.
You should remember that you can “choose” everything. For instance, you “choose” not to watch Netflix now because you know that you “want” to finish the paper so that you can improve your skills and have a better opportunity in the future. Have you noticed? When you change your description and thought from “I have to …” to “I choose to …,” the feeling transforms immediately. You aren’t doing it because of pressure but due to desire.
Two greatest faculties of human beings.
The two greatest faculties of human beings referred by Sadhguru, an Indian yogi who is a master of spirituality, are “a vivid sense of memory” and “a fantastic sense of imagination.”
A vivid sense of memory
You definitely remember things that happened in the past and especially clearly with the significant ones that influence your emotion enormously. For example, whenever you think of the birthday party your friends held for you, you immediately feel ecstasy. But, on the other hand, when you remind yourself that the time you failed your project and been blamed by your boss, you get the feeling of depression.
A fantastic sense of imagination
The other faculty of you is that you can imagine anything you want and affect your emotion. So, for instance, if you imagine yourself accomplishing your goal, you feel satisfied. But when you are worried about the presentation tomorrow, you probably can’t fall asleep tonight.
HOW to use them in the right way?
Do you know which time you exist? Is it past, present, or future? The problem nowadays is that people often mixed them up, and that’s one of the reasons for pressure. That is, you probably are still suffering from the tragedy that happened to you ten years ago, or you may already suffer from the terrifying situation that you think will happen tomorrow. So you live in the past, present, and future, which makes you confused and stressed.
Take me for example; I tend to suffer from the terrible social skills I had in the past and feel unconfident every time I meet new friends. And I also suffer from worrying about the situation of future relationships creation. Apparently, I mixed up the three times and suffered pressure from them, which is totally unnecessary.
So I change my thought and perspective. Past can’t change because it’s fixed. Present can’t change because you’re living it now. What you can only change is the future. In addition, the things you are worried about are just things you think may happen. But actually, no one knows what will happen next because 99% of your life is conducted accidentally. When you realize that there’s no need to concern about things that haven’t happened and no matter how precisely you plan, your future may not follow your thought, you won’t be suffering from the future forever.
What you need to do is decide what you desire to do in the next second that fits your long-term goal, and just do it with ecstasy at that moment.
Remember, you have limited time.
Besides, you should always remember you have limited time. No one knows how short your life will be, and it’s essential to precious every moment. If you decide to suffer from the pressure in the past or the future for five minutes, then you are just wasting five minutes being closer to your grave.
So invest yourself in something worthy to you instead of wasting time suffering from stress and depression. If you can think through your desire and do it self-motivated, then not only spark you have but also aflame you will be all the time.
To sum up
- Find your desire to motivate you. You don’t need to compare with others and use pressure to get motivation. There’s no reason to compare with others, and healthy motivation comes from your desire instead of pressure.
- Use your two incredible faculties of human beings in the right way. If you feel pressure, most of the situation is because you mixed up the times. Use your memory to help you learn and your imagination to help you create a better environment instead of suffering from them.
- Always remind yourself of the limited lifetime. It’s easy to forget how thankful you are living here right now so that you may waste your time feeling unmotivated. However, you should precious your time and invest yourself to be aflame at every moment.