How to overcome the feeling of inferiority.

It’s inevitable that sometimes we feel inferior. Let’s go through the steps below together and be happy again!

I was feeling inferior the other day after being tutored in my writing. I wanted to improve my writing skills, but I even didn’t know what my problem was, so that the tutor didn’t know how to help me. Moreover, my English wasn’t at the perfect level that I had difficulty expressing myself clearly.

So after the tutoring, I felt inferior about how terrible my English was, and more importantly, I realized how flawed my independent thinking was. Therefore, I soaked in that frustrated, depressed, inferior emotion for a while, feeling a lack of motivation to do anything.

However, I then noticed that I was lost and completely being controlled by my emotion, and I needed to get back on track.

Below are some tips to try when you feel inferior, and let me explain it with the BE, DO, HAVE principle.

Your BE.

First, you need to transform your BE, which is your belief, perspective, and purpose, so that you can get out of the feeling of inferiority.

What’s the feeling of inferiority?

According to Alfred Adler, a psychotherapist who propounded “Individual Psychology,” “a feeling of inferiority” means “a feeling of having less self-worth.” So if you feel inferior, that’s because of your value judgment of yourself.

Moreover, when you know that it is yourself making you feel inferior, you can choose to transform your value! Because your worthless feeling is not an objective but a subjective emotion.

How I used it: My articles were lame was not an objective fact; it’s just how I judged myself. So I transformed my view to “I’m still learning how to improve, and I’ll do my best to level up.” Then, I won’t feel inferior anymore.

No one is going to feel “enough.”

Due to the human beings' universal desire, “pursuit of superiority,” no one is going to feel they are “good enough.” Therefore, you are always in the situation of wanting to get rid of the inferior feeling. For instance, you were born in a helpless state that you needed to rely on others to feed you. However, you crawled and wanted to stand and walk, trying to become independent. It’s human nature behavior.

So the feeling of inferiority is very normal because you always want to be better, and this feeling will never stop. In fact, it’s not a disease but a healthy stimulant that pushes you to grow. And we will discuss how to do it later in the article.

All you need to know is you ARE on a level, not bad nor good because you don’t need to compare with others; you are just YOU. And no matter where you are now, as long as you are walking forward on your path at your pace, you’re doing it great.

How I used it: After knowing this, I realized that I’m not alone because everyone had the feeling of inferiority. That is, suppose I looked up to a writer and felt inferior to my writing, but actually, the writer might not be satisfied with their skills either. We are just all “pursuing the superiority.” So there’s no need to compare with others. I just needed to work on what I was lack now. Moreover, this feeling was actually beneficial to improve my writing and English skills.

Die a failure but blissfully.

Sadhguru, an Indian yogi who is a master of spirituality, once said that he would definitely die a failure. The reason is that you may only finish 10–15% of things you want to do before you die. So there’s no way to die with success unless you have a constipated sense of life. But, on the other hand, if you worked incessantly but still didn’t accomplish what you want, that means you have a great vision.

Therefore, the only important thing is not to achieve your goal but to live blissfully in every moment. As Sadhguru said, he decided to have the entire world blissed out because he can be in ecstasy, feeling every cell in his body exploding by merely sitting. So although he dies a failure, he still dies blissfully by living blissfully in every moment.

How I used it: I felt inferior about my ability was because I had a great vision of myself, which was a good thing. And that I understood I couldn’t be “successful” because I would always feel insufficient. Same concept as mentioned in the previous paragraph, “pursuit of superiority.” So it was essential to be ecstatic and blissful while living and improving.

Don’t get yourself into an inferiority complex.

However, be careful not to turn your feeling of inferiority (which is normal and beneficial) into an inferiority complex.

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, you may always be pursuing superiority. That means you feel inferior about something, and then you improve yourself to deal with it. Then, finally, you get rid of the inferiority, but another thing starts bothering you, and you take another step forward.

But do you know what happens if you didn’t move forward? Because it’s too heavy for you to keep staying in the feeling of inferiority, and you don’t have the courage to make sacrifices and efforts to get rid of it, you may start to use it as a kind of excuse.

For example, if I use my inferiority of English as an excuse for why I couldn’t have a clear conversation with the tutor, then I’m in an inferiority complex. It looks like the truth, but it’s an “apparent cause and effect.” And I just use it to imply that “if it’s not because of my English, I can gain more knowledge and express all my thought precisely.” Do you notice? This thought makes me feel valued again without any effort.

So you need to avoid using the thing you are inferior to be an excuse of why you can’t achieve something. Instead, what you should do is face the thing you lack and improve it.

Your DO.

After realizing the information above, you can change your BE. Try to change your perspective and belief to see a whole different world without being affected by the inferior feeling. Then now, we can take a look at what we can DO next.

The painful feeling is your motivation to level up.

The feeling of inferiority is uncomfortable and painful. However, if that bothers you, that means your insecurity is telling you that you have something you desire, and it’s time for you to level up.

By letting the painful feeling find out what you desire precisely, you can move on to use your energy and discover ways to accomplish it. And finally, you used it to level up.

How I used it: The painful inferior feeling of not knowing my problem for my articles actually brought out the desire to learn more about writing and practice independent thinking. Through this feeling, I found what I want to work on.

Your brain is always listening.

Stop saying negative words to yourself because your brain can only reinforce the messages. For example, if you keep telling yourself you are not good enough and that you are so bad at writing, your brain won’t help you improve the flaw but building your self-image and reinforcing them.

So here’s what you can do. Recognize your true self first, and accept it. Then, you need to know that everyone is unique, and you need to see your own self-worth. Look at the mirror in your eyes, and tell yourself that you’re worthy, strong, powerful, creative, etc. Saying positive words to yourself can benefit the self-image in your mind. And finally, you won’t feel inferior anymore because you see your value and know you are on the path to improving.

And your HAVE.

BE

  1. You now know that the feeling of inferiority is normal, and it’s also a healthy way to self-growth.
  2. The most important thing you need to keep in mind is that you will die a failure, but you need to be blissful at every moment.

DO

  1. You can use the painful feeling to find your genuine desire and level up.
  2. Tell yourself positive words every day makes you see your self-value.

HAVE

And eventually, you will HAVE happiness, see your self-worth, and keep moving forward with fulfillment.

Remember to FOLLOW for more life perspective posts, and COMMENT below to share your takeaways and experiences.

Content inspired by the book The courage to be disliked by Ichiro Kishimi, and videos: https://youtu.be/YFhnasd7KmE & https://youtu.be/3_-Vrq9QFpg & https://youtu.be/NuoeHXO5Nm0

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Nicole Hsieh

Nicole Hsieh

Sharing some important life perspectives with the cute Corgi photos.❤️